Meet Mr. Boots, Gloria Oliver's Cat

Please say a big hello to Mr. Boots, Gloria Oliver's feline companion...

Bio: Yo! I’m Mr. Boots. All muscle and all fun all the time. Black and sleek with white boots and white tummy. Mighty feline of the jungles am I! I will fearlessly protect my chosen housemates from evil lint, waving papers, and rays of sunlight till the end of time! Booyah!

Thanks for the cheery intro, Mr. Boots. Go ahead and give us the lowdown on Gloria. What type of books does she write?

Fannnnntasy. Young Adult Fantasy, even. Don’t even know why. I mean, you can just stare at a wall, unfocus your eyes a little and fantasize all you want while lazing about on the floor. Me, I fantasize about shinny objects I can swat around with my claw, or maybe catching Nightshade with his guard down and doing a preemptive strike. Yeah…Sweet… But if you actually want to see what she writes about, hohum, she’s got samples at www.gloriaoliver.com Mine are more fun. Believe you me.

I often fantasize about stake and spicy sausage. Good stuff! Anyway, what do you do to annoy Gloria while she writes and ignores you?

Well…if you must know…I meow loudly from the other room. Once or twice is normally all I need, long pitiful meows, to get her to look over at me. Then she will make ‘come over’ gestures to me and scratch me behind the ear. Mmmm. At other times, I will set my sights on the high backed chair and pick up speed from back in the kitchen and leap at the thing! My claws will clamp onto it, like it’s a feral animal I must protect her from. If my angle is real good, the chair will roll away with both of us on it. It’s not good to do it if she’s not in it though. Tried that once. Me and the chair took a dive. Not fun… no, sir…

Nice work, Mr. Boots! Does Gloria plot like a madwoman or just write ‘down the bones’?

She’s a weird one, that one. She does it all kinds of ways. Kind of depends on what she’s working on. She’s had full written out plots, worked on a book just from one scene, faked things as she went along. Kind of like a cat, and quite sensible as far as I am concerned, she follows her instincts.

Hmm. Sounds a bit like my mom. Quite erratic, that one. Does your mom like to snack while she writes? My mom can't stop snacking then she says I can't have a snack because I'm fat. Do you think there’s a connection between writing and obesity?

Ooo, snacks. I like snacks. But no, she doesn’t snack much. Though her male will sometimes buy containers of Whoppers and leave them on her desk. She can’t seem to resist those. But honestly, who cares if she snacks? I’m the one who should be getting served a snack! Sometimes I have to sit there and stare at her when it’s getting late so she can get a clue and give us our late night yummies. Sheesh.

I know what you mean! I wish I had free access to my own stakes! Does Gloria let you sit on her lap while she writes?

Yeah, but it’s no fun.

Why not?

There’s not enough room. I’m a big boned boy and there’s just not enough room between her lap and the keyboard drawer for me to fit under there. Now Keiko, Queen Bee around the place, (and total grouch – but you didn’t hear it from me), she’s petite and super tiny. She crawls up under there with no problem and takes naps. I have to wait for Gloria to go watch TV to get lap time, and that’s if Queen Bee has decided to be elsewhere. You know, you swat her once for play and she holds a grudge forever! Like, what’s wrong with sharing? Shouldn’t we all get equal lap time? You wouldn’t think something that tiny could be so, uhm, feral. Not that she scares me or anything. Don’t you dare think that. Nuh uh. (Oh, she’s coming. Gotta go!)

I can sympathize! I'm the only dog here for the moment, but my mom has been talking about getting me a little brother... as if I needed one!! Scary stuff!!!!

Interview with Dax, Bruce Golden's cat

Please welcome my feline guest, Dax!

Dax lives with science fiction & fantasy author Bruce Golden, whose novels have received rave reviews on many prestigious publications such as Asimov's Science Fiction (I bet this has gone to his head!) His novels include Better Than Chocolate, Mortals All, and the upcoming Evergreen. His short fiction has also been included in several anthologies. Anyway, Dax is here today to spill the beans on Bruce. Welcome, Dax!

Bio: Dax was born in 1995, and began life, along with his sister, Odo (recently deceased), as a feral kitten, even though he comes from a very long line of cats associated with author Bruce Golden. However, Dax, unlike his sister, always came to eat when Bruce brought out the food, and adapted to his human friend quite quickly. (His sister had to be caught and coerced, but after a few weeks was as loving any cat could be.) Dax is known to be very human-like and very intelligent as cats go. Though age is beginning to slow Dax down, he still follows Bruce wherever the human goes.

Thanks for stopping by this side of the woods, Dax. Tell us, what type of books does Bruce write?

His first two books, Mortals All and Better Than Chocolate, were both science fiction, as is his latest book, Evergreen. He calls it his finest work in more than 30 years as a creative artist, but I think he gets a little carried away with the superlatives some times. Though he says some day he’d like to write a non-scifi book, I’ll believe it when I see it. He’s written 30-plus short stories, and they’re all scifi or fantasy. The cool thing is that from the very beginning he’s always liked to include cats in his stories whenever possible. He has an unsold screenplay in which a great-great-great uncle of mine, Nomad Muad’Dib, plays a large role.

Has Bruce immortalized you in any of his books?

That’s kind of a sore point with me. You see, in his first book, Mortals All, Bruce chose to include my nephew Jekyll as a character (Jekyll and I are not close. We tolerate each other, though, on occasion, I’ll chase him around, just to let him know who’s top cat.) I’ve been waiting and waiting for Bruce to put me in one of his stories, and he swears that I’m going to be in the book he’s currently writing, as a cat referred to as Prince Dax. The royalty thing’s a nice touch, don’t you think? And so purrrrrfectly fitting.

I like to stare at my mom while she writes to make her aware that she’s ignoring me and make her feel guilty. What do you do to annoy Bruce while he writes?

Lately I’ve developed this really pitiful cry—it would bring tears to your eyes. I’ll wander around the house crying until I get some attention. Bruce gets very annoyed when he’s writing, and sometime he’ll yell at me to shut up. But mostly he just asks me what’s wrong. The joke’s on him. Nothing’s wrong, I just like to cry pitifully to make him feel guilty.

Good work, Dax! Tell us, does Bruce let you sit on his lap while he’s working at the computer?

I’m not much of a lap sitter, though both my nephews, Joker and Jekyll, take turns on his lap while he’s writing. When Bruce was writing Mortals All, Jekyll spent the entire time sitting on the back of the chair (this was before he got fat, and still fit there). That’s probably why he got a part in the book. I’m more of a kneader than a lap sitter. I also like to get up on the desk and lay right in front of the computer, which drives Bruce crazy, because he can’t get at his keyboard to work.

I once tried to sit on my mom's lap, but she said I almost smothered her to death (what a lie!) Anyway, what advice would you give to those pets that have to live with irrational, egotistical authors?

Under the category “Do what I say, not what I do,” pets should give their authors a wide berth during those irrational periods. Don’t bug ‘em, or you might get a box of tissues thrown at you. But you also need to stroke their egos, so rub up against them, turn on the purr, and congratulate them on their accomplishments—even if they’re not making enough money with their writing to buy you the really expensive cat food.


Wise advice, Dax! Thanks for stopping by!

Interview with Shalalu, Eva Batonne's faithful companion

My guest today is sweet Shalalu, a border collie/labrador mix who shares her home with crime fiction author Eva Batonne. Eva is the author of Resurrection Diva, published by Zumaya Publications.

Eva is also an accomplished artist. Check out her stunning work at www.evamontealegre.com.

Bio: Shalalu is 38 pounds of black and white velvet love. She has the classic markings of the border collie with the sleekness of a Labrador. She can hang out with her head in your lap while you read a book and be perfectly contented or go on the longest walk ever. Shalalu was rescued from animal control (they were going to put her down for being too timid!) but in four months she has learned that life is beautiful. When she gets happy she likes to run and it is a gorgeous site to behold because she is built for speed.

Tell us, Shalalu. Are you the boss of Eva Batonne? Oh, don’t you know that while I won’t say that I’m the boss, I know how to get her on program with food, walks, pets and rides in the car-car.

What type of crime fiction books does Eva write? She writes these grisly murder stories, and that is completely ludicrous because she is such a scaredy-cat. She actually scares herself when she writes and I can feel the tension in the room and before you know it she’s making these weird high pitched noises which can only be described as a frightened whining. All this while click, click, tap, tap, she’s typing away, staring at the computer monitor. Quite a worrisome behavior in my opinion but I can’t break her of it.

I can relate to that! My mom wrote a horror novel but she's a scaredy-cat too! Funny, huh? Authors are creazy, if you ask me. So, Shalalu, I don't mean to be rude, but what’s with your name? Did Eva choose it? What has that done to your self esteem and what does that say about her? The animal control named me Cherry. I wasn’t much impressed with that because they were going to put me down. They said I was too timid and not adoptable. But Eva knew better. She sat with her back to me for forty-five minutes leaning against my cage and so I knew she was a woman who could teach me something. I’m a black Labrador/Border Collie mix with red tinge to my short fur. I have a white flair across my chest and white sox and I would have preferred to be named Lightning as I can run so fast it can take your breath away but Eva named me Sha-la-lu. I don’t know, I guess it is feminine and it does have a magical quality to it. She likes to call it out very loud and emphasize the last syllable which I do find a bit unnerving because she actually does it so it sounds like she is howling and I don’t know, it’s just… it’s a bit much. Doncha think?

Now that you mention it, it does have a magical quality. That's quite a story, Shalalu. I'm so glad Eva adopted you. I was admiring her photo earlier today. For sure she's a kind lady, but is she as stable as she looks? I have to say she is way more fun than those photos would suggest. She doesn’t take herself seriously at all and I like that. Okay, I would say she is a little plumper than those photos suggest but I like it because when we watch television I can lay my head on her tummy and it is very snuggly and comfortable. Who wants to cuddle with a bunch of bones and muscle, I mean, let’s just be honest, okay!

I agree! What does your mom do besides writing? Is she a hermit or does she actually set her foot outdoors? Eva is a bit of a madwoman I have to say, she paints, she dances around. She does this thing with a bunch of other humans called Medicine Dance. I went with her once and was able to watch what she was up to. For five hours she did this. Wow, it was unusual. It’s amazing the things human beings do to entertain themselves. In this regard, I find human beings the most admirable and clever if sometimes a little worrisome.

Leave us with some wise words, Shalalu. What advice would you give to those pets that have to live with irrational, egotistical authors? Bite them in the ass! Ooops, don’t tell my mom I said that. I never actually bit her. Or anyone. I did chase the cat once and caught hell for that so I don’t do that anymore. Jeez, I thought she was going to take me back to animal control. No, no. No! I’m a good girl.

Thanks for spilling the beans, Mademoiselle!