Thursday, March 19, 2009

My Vet Says I'm FAT

I hate life! Why does food have to be so good but then makes us fat?

Yesterday my mom took me to the vet and she officially announced it: Amigo is FAT. She went beyond that:

"When he entered the office," she stated, "I was shocked." So much for being tactful.

Later, when I hopped on the scale, she said: "He must lose 10 kilos." I think I almost chocked on my own saliva. That's like 25 pounds!

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my vet. She's the sweetest and coolest vet on earth--she happens to also be a professional diver and underwater photographer. How may pets can say THAT about their vets?

But this time, she's really hurt my feelings.

She put me in strict diet (yeah, right, more like starvation!) of light food and no snacks except for bits of apple, carrot and broccolli. What am I, a rabbit? She seems to forget the fact that we originated from the wolves and that we're meat eaters!

I'm allowed only one rawhide bone a week! Plus I have to exercise twice a day now, morning and evening (I already walk an hour day!)

All of a sudden nobody is giving me any treats. Everyone has turned so strict! I didn't see my mom getting so resolute when the doc told her she was fat. Why, she breaks her diet every single day!

Last night I dreamed of pepperoni pizza and cheeseburgers....

Later today I'll call the CIA. Maybe they have a secret wonder pill that can make me lose weight without dieting.

So I'm in a lousy mood and will continue to be in a lousy mood for the duration of this diet, which could last up to a year!


  1. Rascal says maybe you can talk them into at least giving you small treats or breaking your treats in half so you won't feel so deprived.

    Cheer up! Walking is fun and it's a good thing. Maybe you can do more retrieving too. Have Mom or whoever is around can throw stuff for you to catch and bring back. That'll take your mind off food and be a fun exercise.

    Posted by Rascal's Mom,
    Morgan Mandel

  2. Thanks, Morgan! I do enjoy my walks, but not on an empty stomach! Woof!

  3. Oh, Amigo! How I sympathize. My lady is due to take me to the vet and she's noticed that I'm not quite the "lean machine" I was fromn a year ago. I just spent two weeks at her son's house, while she was in sunny Antigua. Well, you know, I begged for treats, snoozed instead of going for walks, and well . . . I do seem to be more curvy. Which is great for a lady dog.
    Anyhow, don't let those humans give you a bad time.

    I like your pictures and think you're a "cool guy."

    Miss Mooka, your new pen pal

  4. Ouch! Diets are so challenging, especially for those with fur.

    L. Diane Wolfe

  5. Amigo!

    You dogs whine about everything. If you were a cat you could hop up on the counter and help yourself when no one was looking. My people tried to put me on a diet but Dad is a pushover so I survived.

    I'm sure you will be purrrrfectly okay.


  6. Hey, Amigo

    I feel your pain. My mistress bought the greatest cat treats. I almost had the package ripped open to have them when *I* wanted and now she hides them with the coffee cups. At least Majik doesn't like them.


  7. Hey, if the CIA has a secret wonder pill, let me know so I can let my owner know. She'd love to have a pill like that - not that she's overweight or anything!


  8. Hi Amigo! Maybe your mom will forget to put the garbage out of reach and you can get some tasty leftovers that way. Or maybe when she's not looking, you can steal from the table.

    Enjoy your extra walks. :)