Thursday, March 19, 2009
My Vet Says I'm FAT
I hate life! Why does food have to be so good but then makes us fat?
Yesterday my mom took me to the vet and she officially announced it: Amigo is FAT. She went beyond that:
"When he entered the office," she stated, "I was shocked." So much for being tactful.
Later, when I hopped on the scale, she said: "He must lose 10 kilos." I think I almost chocked on my own saliva. That's like 25 pounds!
Now, don't get me wrong. I love my vet. She's the sweetest and coolest vet on earth--she happens to also be a professional diver and underwater photographer. How may pets can say THAT about their vets?
But this time, she's really hurt my feelings.
She put me in strict diet (yeah, right, more like starvation!) of light food and no snacks except for bits of apple, carrot and broccolli. What am I, a rabbit? She seems to forget the fact that we originated from the wolves and that we're meat eaters!
I'm allowed only one rawhide bone a week! Plus I have to exercise twice a day now, morning and evening (I already walk an hour day!)
All of a sudden nobody is giving me any treats. Everyone has turned so strict! I didn't see my mom getting so resolute when the doc told her she was fat. Why, she breaks her diet every single day!
Last night I dreamed of pepperoni pizza and cheeseburgers....
Later today I'll call the CIA. Maybe they have a secret wonder pill that can make me lose weight without dieting.
So I'm in a lousy mood and will continue to be in a lousy mood for the duration of this diet, which could last up to a year!