Interview with Delaney, proud owner of author Linda M. Faulkner

Delaney is here today to tell us about his life with Linda M. Faulkner and his other pet companions. Linda writes novels, short stories, newspaper columns and a bunch of other things and is the host of the Author Exchange Blog, were she posts interviews, news, press releases and anything of interest to writers. Her latest book is Second Time Around, a mystery novel set in the Rocky Montains, and guess what--it's been just nominated for an EPPIE Award! Way to go, Linda!

Thanks for visiting, Delaney! So tell us, what's it like living with an author?

Hey, Amigo! Thanks for checking in with me. I’m glad to have the opportunity to chat—life’s pretty boring most days. As far as living with an author goes, I haven’t lived with anyone else, so I can’t compare authors to other humans—from a personal perspective, that is. All I can tell you is that Mom leaves the house early most days of the week and drives far, far away to a boring place called The Office. I get to go with her sometimes and, while I love the long car ride, The Office is even more boring than it is here at home. I only get to see some of the people who visit her when she’s there. She tells me that having a dog at The Office isn’t “professional” and that some people either don’t like dogs or are afraid of them. Can you believe that? I’m a lab mix, for Pete’s sake? Who in the world’s gonna dislike me or be afraid of me? Sigh. She spends most nights at her laptop after coming home from The Office --either working on her book or doing that interview stuff for her Author Exchange Blog. Who’d have thought there were so many other writers in the world? When she comes home Friday night, though, she usually stays home ‘til Monday morning and says that’s her favorite time of the week. It’s mine, too. (Although, unlike Mom, I don’t want to be a hermit when I grow up.) She spends most of her weekend at the laptop but she doesn’t seem to be able to sit still (and quiet) for more than about 50 minutes. So, I’m always around when she pops up to make a cup of tea, or do the laundry, or chat and play with me and the other critters, or accompany her outside for a walk.

What do you do while Linda writes and ignores you?

I ignore her back.

Ha! Good work!

I learned that from Dusty, the cat we used to have. But if I want her attention, I just drop my chin on her lap and she pats me, talks to me, and tells me I’m her favorite boy. Bet Dad and her human son wouldn’t like to hear that, eh?

I hear she has a book out. Tell us all about it!

It’s a really neat book—mostly because I’m in it! Only she changed my name. She called me Mac in the book and my big brother Tyson was in it too, and she called him Murph. My sister Charlotte shows up later in the book but Mom let her use her own name—I can’t figure that one out. Anyway, the book is called SECOND TIME AROUND and it’s a mystery that takes place in western Montana, where we live. Mom tells people that we puppies were the inspiration for the opening scene because the idea came to her when she and Dad took us for a walk one day. There’s three dead bodies in the book and a cool sheriff’s deputy named Jack Kendall. The ladies at the book club who invited Mom to dinner said they thought Jack Kendall was hot and Mom really liked that. But how can a human be hot, Amigo? They’re always asking us to climb into bed with them to keep them warm. I just don’t understand humans sometimes…

Does Linda show off to her friends because of her book? What about to those annoying relatives?

I don’t know how she is with her friends because she’s pretty much a hermit when she’s home. She must see and talk to them when she goes to The Office. But she talks to her sister and my grandpa and my human sibs on the phone all the time. (They live farther away even than The Office in a place called Massachusetts. I used to live there and it took days and days to drive here from there.) Not only does my Mom talk about her book all the time to her human family, she bribed them! She said she’d give them free, signed copies of her book if they promised to pass out a bunch of postcards to all their friends, neighbors, and co-workers. They thought it was great. My human sister and brother, Laurie and Mike, actually asked for refills! My other human sister, Beth, let her daughter bring the book to school for show and tell. (Bridget’s in 4th grade.) And you know what my grandpa did? He passed the postcards out at the casino in Connecticut and a couple of old guys actually bought the book! (I miss Grandpa. Haven’t seen him in the six years since we moved to Montana. He’s neat. He calls me his granddog.)

I hear you live with a few other pets. Do you get along?

I get along with Charlotte okay, even though she’s a pain. You’d think she’d grow up sometime soon; she’s 5 years old, for Pete’s sake. But then again, she’s a Golden Retriever/German Shepherd mix, so you can guess what she’s like. I really miss Tyson and Patience—they both died within the past year. They’re the two Rotties Dad had before Mom rescued him seven years ago. (She rescued everyone in our house.) Tyson was twice as big as me and Patience was a baby at the time. But a couple months after they moved in with us, I stopped being afraid. Tyson stuck up for me when other dogs came around and even though Patience grew up to be almost as big as Tyson, she was the nicest dog I ever knew. Mom still cries when she looks at her picture. Anyway, Mom says I get along with everyone because I have a great ‘sposition—whatever that is. Although I don’t like it when she tells people I’m the only dog who ever liked her X--and that should have been a clue. Everyone laughs when she says that. Do you think they’re laughing at me, Amigo? Or the X, whatever that is?

What's it like living with a fat cat? That must be irritating! Or that malevolent-looking black kitty, Max?

Mom thought Dusty was terrific, but I thought he was a bigger pain than Charlotte. In more ways than one. (Please don’t tell Mom I made a “fat” joke about Dusty. She’s weird like that—doesn’t let us pick on each other or fight—at all!) When Mom brought me home almost 10 years ago, Dusty scared the heck out of me, he was so big. I was only an 8-week old baby, weighing in at 10 pounds, and he weighed 20 pounds! Once I got bigger than him, he didn’t scare me so much, and we’d wrestle all over the place. Until Mom told me I couldn’t hurt the kitty. Cripes, how could I hurt a cat? I wasn’t allowed to bite, but he could! He used to chase me all over the darned house and, when no one was looking, he used to bite my feet ‘cuz he knew I wasn’t allowed to bite back. And he thought it was funny (so did Mom—I’ll never forgive her for that). Yeah, I liked it when he got old and fat and slowed down. Now Max, he’s okay. Mom and Dad got him a few days after Dusty died. The people at the shelter said that black animals are always the last to be adopted. Even though Max is black, I don’t know why he was there for months. He’s not anything like Dusty. He rubs against me and Charlotte just like we were humans. He lays in front of the fire with us at night and hangs out with us most of the rest of time. The only thing I don’t like about him is when he jumps up at my tail and swipes at it when it’s wagging. He thinks I’m trying to play. NOT!

What about that insane parrot? I hear you were planning its murder the other night. Let me know if you need any help.

That’s a rumor about me planning to kill the parrot. But now that you’ve offered, if you and your CIA pals want to visit, we can come up with a plan. That parrot’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen and when Dad takes her out of her cage, I take off to the other side of the room. Dad had the quiet parrot when he and Tyson and Patience moved in, but he begged and begged and begged Mom to help him rescue this Moluccan Cockatoo he met and Mom finally surrendered. Boy, is she sorry! She calls her Bitch Bird because she’s so loud. (Her real name’s Sammy and the quiet one is Angel.) Usually, Mom’s pretty patient with Sammy but I can tell she’s getting mad when she hollers, “Hey, Sammy! Keep it up and we’re having chicken for dinner tonight!” One thing that’s pretty neat about Sammy is when she imitates her former owners. They used to get in loud arguments and Sammy role plays both sides, complete with, “Whatever!” “I don’t wanna go!” and different variations of a nasty word I’m not allowed to say. (It begins with the letter “f”.)

Does your mom have a website and blog?

My Mom has all kinds of websites and blogs—only I won’t bore you with the ones from The Office. Her writing website is http://www.lindamfaulkner.com. She has two blogs; the one for her own writing is http://www.lindamfaulkner.blogspot.com and the one where she interviews writers and other writing people is the Author Exchange Blog – that’s at http://www.lindamfaulknertips.blogspot.com. Maybe you should write my mom and ask her to interview your Mom! Think we’d each get an extra treat for setting them up together?
Woof! Woof!

P.S. Mom changed my name after she married Dad. She let me keep the McHenry as a middle name, just like she did, only no one uses it. Too bad, I liked it better. It’s Irish, you know? By the way, Delaney means black in Irish Gaelic.

It was a riot having you here, Delaney! I'll contact you off-blog so we can discuss parrot annihilation.